I'm going to jail i love you
is wine microwaveable?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
