Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
