remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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