Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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