On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
