Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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