What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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