I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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