this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
