Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
