what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
