'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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