No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
