I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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