Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
