im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
