He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
