You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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