i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
