when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
