His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize