It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
