just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
