I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
