You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
