don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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