I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
