writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
