If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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