kristin has been a bad kristin
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
