so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize