I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize