I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
