you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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