This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
