we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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