Ambien. No doubt about it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
