Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
