I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i think i have herpe
just one?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize