I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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