I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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