Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
