There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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