is your mom at the bar?
I cockslap morals
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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