C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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