your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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