pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
