When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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