Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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