my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
