sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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