I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
