I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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