Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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