I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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