3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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