I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
