Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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