Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
