Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
