:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize