No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
