I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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