I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
