But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize