Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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