..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
