i barfeds in our rink
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
