She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the liver wants what the liver wants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
