So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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